Sunday 8 January 2012

Everything Changes


This is so unlike me. 
I have officially made the decision to change my major from nursing to science/school health education.
!!!!!!!
Considering that I'm incredibly indecisive and type A to the max, you can imagine how much anxiety all of the uncertainty surrounding this situation is causing me. ALOT OF ANXIETY. Believe me, I never make drastic decisions like this. I tend to put my nose to the grindstone, and follow things through till the end, even when I'm doing something that I hate. I'm not a quitter, but I feel like I am "quitting" nursing and that I have just wasted the past two and half years of my life. I'm really trying to flip this feeling into something positive. "Live and learn, the best teacher is experience, yadayada..." but I still feel like my stomach has relocated to my throat and is causing my breathing rate to quadruple.  

Sorry if just reading this post is making you nervous. I have so many thoughts, doubts and "what ifs" swirling around in my head right now, I just needed to pound them all out on the keyboard. 


tumblr_loi3h1dxSG1qg1twxo1_500.jpg
I do believe you random inspirational quote from Pinterest
Actually, this is so true. It really is. If you don’t love what you are doing, and whom you are doing it with what’s the point?

It has taken me this long to realize that you cannot force yourself to be someone you’re not. You cannot fool yourself into finding real happiness by pursing a false passion. When you decide what it is you really want your life to be – go after it. Life is too short to waste time being unhappy. It’s easy to say that “one day I’ll have this, or I’ll do that,” but achieving what you really want in life takes hard work.

This switch is going to be very hard work (whhhy must the university transfer system be so complicated?!). But I know that it will be completely worth it. You have to ask yourself HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT IT? When you want something desperately, anything is possible through hard work and commitment.

So right now I’m at the starting line. I feel like I’ve just downed a bagel and two carb gels. I’m so ready to run (figuratively and literally) it’s insane! Tomorrow the starting gun goes off. The universities are open and I will be tying up their phone lines all day long!
 
I’m abandoning complicated and adopting SIMPLE. I know what I want and I’m going after it. Period. Wish me luck!

Sunday 1 January 2012

The start of a Brand New Year and a Brand New Blog

Happy New Year!
Is there a more appropriate day to begin a brand new project? I don't believe there is. So, as you can see I've jumped aboard the resolution train without hesitation this year. I have some pretty intense goals to work through this year, and as the sun sets tonight I will only have 364 more days to tackle them to the ground. So, here it goes. 
Goal #1: Create blog.
Boom.
Blog created Jan. 1, 2012 at 1:31 pm.
I'm off to a good start.

I love setting goals, and always have. Maybe a little too much? I have ALOT of interests and ideas, and as a result have the unfortunate tendency to multitask to the extreme and end up losing sight of what it is that I actually want to achieve. 
But, I have a feeling that this year will be different. I have made my goals specific and measurable. There will be no getting distracted from my ultimate goal. 
I think organizing my resolutions in chronological order of how they NEED to be accomplished will be most productive. I'm going to start at #1, and aim to hit # by November. All of my resolutions will be ongoing of course, but lining them up with some sort of timeline will make sure I stay on track (necessary because I'm pretty certain I have ADD of some sort). So here is my 2012 checklist - about to be documented right here and then released into the blogosphere forever, so I expect to be held to it!

#1 – Replace Every Negative Thought with a Positive Thought
I am not going to waste any more time with regrets or negative thoughts. I will stop being so hard on myself. I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life, and I will focus ONLY on the PRESENT, and doing all that I can do to create the life I want.
Negative thoughts only create pain and anxiety. By eliminating all negative thoughts I will be able to find peace and happiness. I will spread this positivity to others, and hopefully help them to reach their own goals through my example.

#2 – Gain Weight and Restore my Health
As it stands, I am underweight and NEED to gain some pretty solid poundage before I can fully pursue any of my fitness related goals. Beginning about 3 years ago, when I graduated from High School, I allowed some disordered eating and excessive exercise habits to take over my life. A number of things (my love of running/exercise, a high metabolism and remnants of my ED) have made it incredibly difficult for me to consistently gain weight. I started my desperate goal to gain weight at about this time last year, and although I made some progress on my own, I realized that it was not enough. I’m now working hard with many professional and personal supports to help me gain this weight as fast as possible so that I can move onto all of my other goals. My body cannot afford any more slow progress. I have decided to go at this goal HARD.

"My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose – somehow we win out."
-Ronald Reagan

If you want something in life, GO GET IT.
I realized just HOW BADLY I WANT THIS. I am going to CREATE THE LIFE I WANT. This life can only begin when my health is fully restored and my body is healed. I have made up my mind, and I WILL DO IT. 



#3 - Change my Major
Ahhh. This is the most terrifying decision I have made for a long time. For the past few years, I have been attending the University of Calgary working on a Bachelor's degree in nursing. I worked so hard, and constantly tried to convince myself that I was loving it. But the truth is I really don't love it at all. I can't help but feel like I just wasted the past two years of my life working towards this goal that I never even really wanted, but if nothing else, at least I have figured out what I really want to do...teach! 
So here it goes. On to a new major and a new school. My goal is to transfer to BYU into the BS in School Health Education program. I'm getting excited just typing about it! I guess sometimes the only way to learn is through experience and action. I gave nursing my best effort, but I wasn't getting anything back in return. Forcing myself into a career that I'm not passionate about was making me incredibly unhappy and unmotivated. I finally realized this past week that I  need to start working towards my true passions now. So what if it takes me a few more years to graduate?! At least I will be truly living the life that I want. I will be able to wake up each morning with motivation and anticipation. No more dreading the day ahead. 
Its going to take hard work and ALOT of organizing to get myself transferred and ready to start this new program, but I know that it will be completely worth it. 

"Dreams don't Work unless you do."
#4 – Blog Consistently
Okay, so I’m not going to commit to posting daily, but I will aim for 2 or 3 per week. Just keepin’ it realistic.

#5 – Run a Half Marathon
This will be dependent on my health of course, but I know IT IS POSSIBLE, and I am going to do everything within my power to make this goal happen. I am not 100% decided as to which half I will run. I LOVE the idea of the Malibu Half Marathon, which goes down on November 11, 2012. I love California and attaching my dream location to this goal is going to motivate me even more to achieve this.

So there it is. I've laid out my aspirations for 2012 in text format. I CAN and WILL reach these goals. 

"A year from now you will wish you had started today"
 - Karen Lamb 

It's time to start living the life you have always imagined.